Alrighty then ... The job search continues. Does anyone want to hire someone intelligent, good-looking, funny, talented, sophisticated, efficient ...? Apparently not. No, it seems that the majority of people looking to hire are only interested in whether or not I have a degree and/or can pass a credit check. Excuse me? What the hell does my credit rating have to do with my abilities?
Why is a 24 year old with a Bachelors degree and a credit score of 800 more qualified than I am? Why arent you even INTERESTED in speaking with me unless I have a degree?
Because you're a bunch of pretentious bastards, that's why. Seriously folks, I am more intelligent and suited for the position regardless of whether or not I have a freaking 400 credit score ... or lack a degree. So, you equal opportunity employers ... not truly equal opportunity are you? I suppose if I were too poor (or distracted) 20 years ago to finish college, its some sort of sign that I am not dedicated, motivated or innovative? Screw that!!
I have been passed over for positions, most recently to manage a consignment shop on a part time basis. I have owned a clothing store, worked retail, purchased and sold a LOT of furniture, sold a LOT to consignment shops, and purchased a LOT from consignment shops. I have also studied accounting (received straight A's thank you very much) and have actually WORKED and had EXPERIENCE in bookkeeping, accounts receivable and collections. I might add.
But, that's okay, you're "going in a different direction." You'd rather hire someone with a better credit rating than mine and/or someone twenty years younger.
I guarantee I will work hard and perform better than any one else you would ever dream of hiring. I sound like an ad for a sexual enhancement drug.
My Uncle died at the age of 67 -- with shit credit. You know why? He didn't have any. He always paid cash and didn't use credit cards. Purchased his cars outright (like me) and lived in a VERY modest apartment. Never owned a home.
He had a genius IQ. He was in the Navy, went to Yale and graduated head of his class. He spoke fluent Japanese and Chinese. The CIA and Secret forces tried in vain to recruit him .... What'd he do? He played Banjo and worked at freaking Rite-Aid for over 30 years.
What's my point?
Oh yeah ... I am pissed that I cant get a job. I am angry that I have all of this talent, charisma and "charm" and no one is willing to graciously accept it. I am upset that most retailers are in the opinion that an individual with a bachelors degree would make a better manager or assistant manager. What sort of bachelors degree are we talking about? I didn't know that ass-kissing was an actual field of study. Ass-kissing is an art, you know. PERSONAL relations IS AN ART ... but it is an art that is not learned in a class room, it is human experience. You can not get a degree in it. Love, compassion and an honest commitment to wanting to make others feel good is something you are born with. It is something that grows within you. Am I smart and focused enough to prepare spreadsheets, meet goals and exceed profit forecasts? Absolutely. I am at the same time a human being with a natural ability to and desire to make people happy.
I have the Chinese symbol for benevolence tattooed on my left ankle. Above it is a banjo and the words "Uncle Gene." I believe in true human kindness. I believe that the right job will come along. I might even work for Rite Aid.

After reading another blog about missed opportunities in regards to family relationships, I would like to write about my Granny. My Granny was my mom's mom. I never met my mom's dad because he passed away several years before I was born. My Granny, however, was very present in my life. Although she too died very early on, I was fortunate enough to spend 19 years of my life with her. She lived with us for nearly half of my life, before my mother re-married and my Granny moved out.

My Granny was a very elegant, well-dressed working woman. And, I dont mean a call girl. She left her family when she was 13 and was the first of 9 children to graduate from high school. After meeting her husband in a saloon (he was a card dealer and she was a bar maid) they settled in the seattle area and of course got respectable jobs. He for Boeing, building bombers and she for Sears, first in the photo department and then moving into human resources.

My mom and dad built the house we lived in with her in mind. There was a full mother-in-law apartment where she lived. It came in handy when my mom and dad divorced because my sister and I would spend a lot of time visiting with her. Again, she worked full time, so she was not our care-taker ... but she was close by when she wasnt working!

She used to dress so beautifully. Always had her face made up and always in heels. Not only was she a great female role-model "looks wise" but she was also hysterically funny. I often give her credit for teaching me how to swear and drive. In the car, she would frequently yell out "bastard!" or "shit head!" Then she'd turn to me, smile and either laugh or say ... "you didnt hear that!" Granny was something to be cherished, indeed.

We lived in separate residences for a few years, but in my last six months of high school, I had moved in with her. I was previously commuting to high school but after getting into a BAD auto accident, I no longer had a car. She lived in a mobile home close to the school and she made the offer for me to be with her. It was small and ... she smoked ... but I enjoyed living with her. Sure, I complained at the time, but I really do have fond memories. I had my own little space in the laundry room. She would make me toast and cocoa every morning while I took my shower. It would always be sitting there on the bathroom counter when I got out. It drove me nuts! I would always tell her not to make it ... but she always did. I often think back and tear up ... as I am doing now, thinking about how much I took her for granted and I wished I would have thanked her for all of those cups of cocoa and uneaten toast. She died the day after mothers day 25 + years ago and I think about her often. We are alike in so many ways and I wish my kids could have known her. I wish she could see what beautiful children I have brought in to the world and that her driving lessons are being carried on thru me to my children ....

Since I didnt post for two weeks I feel compelled to write a bunch today. This is another rant session pertaining to driving. I have been in only one doozy of an accident back in high school. Since then, a couple of minor incidents. While driving for nearly 3 decades may not entitle me to superior status, I feel it my duty to share a couple key rules with other either new or ... just plain stupid drivers.

EVERY DAY I have to exercise the rules of a "four-way stop." Can someone PLEASE tell me why other drivers have such difficulty understanding how these work? Technically, one of the intersections I go through almost daily is a six way stop. It is on the Northeast slope of Queen Anne where 6th Ave N, 4Th Ave N, Queen Anne Drive and Raye St all come together. I know I should "prepare" myself for this daily occurrence and get over it .... but I just can't.

Its like the pemco insurance ad with the two cars at a four way stop. Neither one of them can decide which one should go first. FIGURE IT FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!

The "rule" is ... or rules are ... Whoever gets to the intersection first ... GOES FIRST! IF you get to the intersection at the same time as someone else, the person to your immediate right goes first. IF the person is across from you and has a signal on ... YOU go first. IF the person across from you doesnt have a signal on ... BOTH of you can go! DUH DUH DUH!!!! Sure, when all four (or more) sides are occupied, it can be tricky to keep track who got there first.

THE MAIN RULE for a four (or multiple way) stop is to PAY ATTENTION!!! It is your responsibility when driving a car to actually PAY ATTENTION to who got there first.

If there are four or more cars at an intersection, you simply MUST pay attention to who got there first! If a car directly in front of you just went, you MUST WAIT until all of the other cars that were there WITH the car in front of you, before you go into the intersection.

They should install sensors to prompt little tire puncturing grates that pop up at stop signs to "help" the four-way stop challenged. We'd see just how fast people can learn SUCH A SIMPLE BASIC driving rule. COME ONE PEOPLE!!!

Alright ... I havent written for nearly two weeks! I have plenty of excuses ... the main one being what I mentioned last time. My fear of writing something that may offend, hurt or embarrass. Well -- forget that. I wouldn't be a great writer if I let things like those stop me ... for long.

The other day I started to remember a LOT of really shitty things that happened to me in my early impressionable years. On two different days in completely different surroundings, I kept smelling an overly sweet and memorable perfume. The memories and feelings attached came roaring back.

In 4th grade I was molested by a fellow class mate. Yes, a fourth grader. Actually, I think he was a year older than I was, but still ... we're talking 9-10 years old? When I think about it today and the numerous times I have remembered that year in school, we seemed so old. I remember it as an adult would. I felt mature.

What happened to me was horrible and no one did anything about it. It makes me wonder how many other kids have and are experiencing the same thing today, by other kids. There are adult predators and I know children are molested far worse every day but NO level of abuse should ever be tolerated or dismissed.

I went to a private school and was one of only a few (literally, like 3) girls in the 4th and 5th grade. All of the boys would goof around with me. We would always play "boy sports" in PE ... like football and I was always invited to boys birthday parties outside of school. Well, one day this boy, "Jacob," grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bushes at recess. He immediately tried to pull my pants down and wrestle me to the ground. I fought him off, but not before he shoved his hands up my shirt and down my pants and groped me.

I didnt run inside and report it to any of the teachers because I was embarrassed. I told my mom that night and the next day my mom and I met with the school principal. Her real name WAS Mrs Johnson and all of the kids totally hated her. She was big and fat and MEAN. She was one of the teachers as well. Whenever you got in trouble either in her class or not, she would be quick to whack the tender underside of your wrists with a ruler repeatedly. Anyway ... When my mother and I met with her she ACTUALLY said that I probably asked for it. She actually said, "well, I see how you interact with the boys and you must have wanted him to do it."

UNBELIEVABLE. It's no wonder the school closed down the following year. While the education, I must admit, was superior to that of the public school I attended before ... I am sure that what happened to me that year crushed me psychologically. Jacob was asked to leave me alone for the remainder of the year but he didn't. He never got that close again, but he continued to write me notes and give me gifts. They were not hateful notes or gifts ... he "loved" me.

What he did (and/or what the principal didn't do) really damaged me. Here's where the familiar smell comes in. For years, I kept a little gold perfume box that he gave me for christmas that year. A beautiful little 1" x 2" gold box with a blue enameled lid. I'd never seen anything so beautiful. He handed it to me just before we went on stage to perform our school concert. I seriously kept that box for decades. I think I just threw it out (or maybe just lost it) about three years ago. WHY did I keep it? I kept a gift from someone that hurt me.

In 8th grade, I was at an after school skate party. I hadn't seen Jacob for years and he didn't live in my neighborhood so I was stunned to see him there. I felt like the blood rushed out of my body. I felt sick and faint. I tried to avoid him but he saw me and instantly started yelling my name. He skated right up to me, looked me in the face and said "Shannon, it's me, Jacob." and I just shook my head an skated away. Got off the floor and outta the building. None of my friends understood what my problem was that day ... and some would have difficulty understanding my actions in days and years to come.

After my most recent "recall," I watched the movie "Easy A" with my kids. Basically, the mid-teened girl student pretends to have slept with someone and rapidly becomes the school slut. She never did sleep with anyone but everyone thought she did and vicious rumors were spread.

She had a conversation with her very liberal mother about it. Her mother had experienced similar accusations in school ... but she actually WAS a slut. Sleeping with multiple people to cover her own insecurities. More about that later.

I wont say much about the cycling thing today, other than there was an article on it on the first section of NW Thursday (Seattle Times) Representative Jamie Pedersen is the one trying to get it into legislature. At least now I know who to write my letter to. Hey Jamie ... Hows about getting cyclists licensed before you go any further? In the article, there was actually a comment about an 83 year old woman that died last spring when she stepped out in front of two cyclists on the trail. neither of the cyclists were charged for that either. Anyway ... moving on ....

Today I will write about something else. Today I write that I am sort of regretting telling some people about my blog. About half a second after informing someone I realized that maybe I wanted to remain "anonymous." After all, not everyone knows ALL of my secrets and/or adventures. They arent necessarily all that BAD, but some people could get their feelings hurt. Or, some people may think that JUST because it sounds like a story about them ... that it IS about them. It probably is them too, but I wont use real names ... except my own. And (remembering that my blog IS about real things and what I write is how I remember or perceive something) perhaps I will throw in a little myth. That being said, I will now write something that is completely true! Its something entirely about ME ... me me me ... and it is something I have shared with only a few people in my life.

When I was 5 my mom and dad divorced. Soon after he moved out, our house was robbed. It was a job done by the "blue van gang." Weird how I can remember things like the name of the gang. My sister and I would go over to a neighbors house after school for daycare. That day instead of my mom picking us up, she called Edie (that's her real name) and told her we had been robbed. My sister and I walked thru the woods to get home, nervous but excited. When we walked in it didn't appear to be so chaotic. They had stolen our TV, some of my moms FAKE pearls (left the real ones -- idiots!) and left behind my moms mink coat (perhaps they were early advocates for PETA) They also defecated all over my moms bathroom and bedroom, the towels the white carpeting ... making it SORT OF look like a personal thing. I have often wondered if my pin-head dad had anything to do with it.
Oh yeah, This story is supposed to be me. So, I run down the long hall to my room to see if anything of MINE had been taken. Nope. Nothing missing. They didn't want what I had, why not? I even had a little metal money bank that was in the shape of a mail box. Not like a residential mail box -- you know, the big blue ones on the curb at the post office that you drop your mail into as you drive by (although some people seem to WRITE their letters before dropping them in while you wait behind them.) I grabbed my little bank and shook it. All my moneys still there. How could they have missed this? It's obviously valuable. Well, I wasnt going to go unnoticed. No one was paying attention to me so it was easy for me to casually grab a screw driver ... doo de doo de dah ... close my bedroom door ... and HACK AWAY at my bank!!! I stabbed and pried and got that blasted thing open. It was horrible ... horrible I tell you! How could they have done this to me? Why would they destroy my bank and take my money?!? Dont they know I am only 5??? I then of course ran with the bank to the family room where I strategically placed my shredded piece of property in the center of the floor and proceeded to cry inconsolably. It got me some attention ... but only a little ... and I had ruined my little bank.

Why did I do that? Obviously it was MY early on-set of trying to get some freaking attention! It seems over the years I did destructive things of similar nature. I was never a demon child ... although my mom and dad may disagree. I was normal for gods sake! I was very little when my folks split up and after the split I rarely saw either my mom OR my dad. I spent most of my time with Edie, the daycare provider and my sister. Also, my Granny lived downstairs ... and there are a lot more stories from that part of the house too!

So last night I tossed and turned because my brain was bombarding me. I was set ablaze (again) by yet another "story" on the news last night about cycling. Apparently it is not enough that we have spent money on creating bike lanes that cyclists dont even HAVE to use ... now they want to make a law that says cars must leave a 3 or 5 ft buffer when passing cyclists. Now, I completely admire cyclists for both their physical ability and environmental awareness. What I do NOT admire or wish to tolerate is how I usually witness cyclists complete disregard for any "laws."

Approximately 15 years ago my dear co-worker was literally run down and killed in a crosswalk.
After the light changed to the "walk" signal, John took three steps into the crosswalk at 4th and University and was struck -- hard -- by a legal bike messenger. He was thrown to the ground, his head colliding with the pavement. He died a week later, never recovering from a coma. The bike messenger? Never cited. Still today, there are NO laws for cyclists.

Supposedly, they are to follow the same laws as motor vehicles??? So, how many cars or motorcycles do you see riding side by side next to pedestrians ON crosswalks? How many cars or motorcycles do you see slowing down at intersections and glancing both ways then proceeding straight thru a red light?
It is absurd that money is being spent for special bike lanes when Cyclists arent even required to use them. Our Governor is hemming and hawing about our blown budget and yet were spending money on this stupid shit? Oh yeah, cut schooling, parks and prison protection ... but hey, let's put in some bike lanes... yeah, that'd be neat!
Well, here's another neat idea. Why don't we make sure there are SPECIFIC laws for cyclist? It was proven 15 years ago that a bicycle can be just as deadly as a motor vehicle. Johns widow, Barb, would agree. ANYONE riding a bicycle on city streets should have to be trained and licensed. The licensing fees and fines for broken cycling laws can pay for those neat bicycle lanes ... that SHOULD, by the way, require mandatory usage.
I live on Queen Anne and at the end of 2010 they added a bicycle lane that goes all the way up Taylor Avenue. I havent seen one freaking cyclist use it. The street has been redesigned, making both north/south "car" lanes tiny, AND they have left the street torn up where they removed the pre-existing center line. ANNOYING!!!!
I want cyclists to be safe. I want pedestrians to be safe. I want motor vehicles to be safe. BUT, there have GOT to be some laws for cyclists. It is NOT logical that cyclists should be able to weave in and out of traffic in between cars, go from crosswalk to sidewalk to street ... at their whim! I have nearly run more than a cyclist or two over because they were behaving in such ways. RESPONSIBILITY! I should not be responsible or to blame for hitting a cyclist if they have chosen to quickly "change paths."
At the South end of Lake Union, by Daniels, there is a sign just for cyclists, directing them to get off the road and get on the sidewalk ... for their safety. At more than one stop-light sitting there, I have witnessed huge disregard for that sign. On one occurrence, I literally counted 10 cyclists at that light ... NONE of them stopped at the light (they did the quick look to the left) ... and only 2 of them actually veered off to the sidewalk as instructed.
My ex-husband, whom I still adore and have coffee with daily, was an olympic cyclist and is still a rather avid cyclist today. I have seen him racing 40mph down Taylor avenue and even HE agree's that today's cyclist are a special breed.
Certain freedoms are taken away from us every day. Auto drivers have to wear seat-belts, Motorcyclists have to wear helmets, We cant use our cell-phones while driving, we cant smoke in public places. I may or may not agree with these ... but they are changes and laws that have been made to "protect" us. I am not out to get Cyclists ... Again, I truly do admire them. However, I can not stress how insane I think it is that there are no laws or requirements for cycling.
You are operating a "vehicle" of potential destruction. You should know how to ride it, use it, and be responsible while enjoying it.
EVERYONE would be a lot safer if there were laws and licensing requirements. There would be fewer questions from motor vehicle operators, and for that matter, pedestrians wouldn't have to worry about being run over when they are either on the sidewalk or in a crosswalk.

A cyclist ran through a red light 15 years ago. He killed a man and paid no fine. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed in a decade and a half. In fact, it seems as though matters are worse.
We have given cyclists another place to "ride" without even a vote. Now, they want to confuse things even more. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ... MANDATORY lessons and licensing. Until then, stop spending precious funds on frivolous extras that aren't even being used!!!!

This is the first post to what I hope will be a majorly entertaining blog as well as an arena for advice. I would like to share my past experiences of ALL types. My first writing will be about ... well, me! No, I dont have degree's, doctorates, or any special certification. I am alive ... and I have lived life in all sorts of ways. I've been super rich, traveled pretty extensively, been poor and had to seriously scrape by. Thru it all, I have a sincere desire and ability to relate to all types of people. I am one of two girls brought up by a single mom and my father is, well ... an ass.
I have done some pretty stupid things but I have also given and contributed to make other peoples lives better. I am a 45-in-2011 mom of two. While a few years ago I had millions, today I live with my mother in a two-bedroom apartment. Life has not been easy for me in the past couple of years but I get by. My children mean everything to me and I am bringing them up very well. They are the sweetest, funniest, most respectful and somewhat naive, children I know. They spend half of their time with their millionaire father and spend half of their time with me ... the "real-life" mom. I am funny and loving. I am smart and ... as stated above, still do some pretty dumb things. I am still trying to find my niche in life ... but I KNOW that my "Calling" is to make the world a better place! In previous lives I have been a warrior and a Goddess. In this life, I have struggled to regain that status. Alas, one day, I shall grasp and embrace the power that I know exists within me. I plan to make this blog a rather random posting of memories, current experiences and sometimes just my opionion. In addition to knowing what my calling is ... I also know that there HAS to be other women out there like me that just need a good laugh and someone to relate to every once in a while. You wont find my blogging about how cute my dog looks in his winter coat. Neither will I be on the soap box about human rights, animal rights ... or any rights for that matter. At least I dont think so. I look forward to sharing with you and I look forward to your thoughts as well!